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The day I was ashamed of myself

9 Jan 2015
9 Oct 2020
2 minutes

If you know me, you realized a long time ago I’m someone positive. I like my life, and I enjoy myself. Life is too short to be sad, live in the past or be annoyed by things you have the power to change or when you have no control over a situation. As long as I can remember, I’ve never been ashamed of myself, until yesterday…

Working on one of my words of 2015, health, I was at the gym doing my training. My personal trainer, who became a friend, challenged me to join the course he was going to give right away. I know I need to go back in shape, but I never had that little something you need to push forward, and make it happen. So trust me, I didn’t want to do it, but in a moment of unconsciousness, I said yes, and followed him to the classroom. It was an intense one hour of cardio craziness. I’m not in shape, at all, so we both known that I wouldn’t be able to do everything all the time during that one hour of hell. I was alternating between doing the exercise, and trying to catch up my breath, most of the time, not even doing the full exercise as I was missing flexibility, endurance or strength. It was painful! Mid-class, it stroked me: mostly everybody in the room was able to follow-up, except me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the only one who need to get back in shape, and the gym is the place I needed to be. But something was unusual: I was Fred, the guy who didn’t give a shit about his health since he was born, and I’ve been hit by a massive punch in the face. The result of all these years was slapping me hard. I’m not stupid: I know I’m far from being healthy (even if I made progress), but yesterday, it was different. I got the little something I was missing to go from “I need to do this”, to “I need, and I will do it”! For the first time in my life, I was ashamed, and trust me, it will not happen again…

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